Dealing with Death

Loss has never been easy for me. Letting go of people, things, memories, etc. sends me into a tailspin. I have such a hard time even throwing out the weekly flowers I buy at the store {no they can make it one more day!} So dealing with the untimely death of my aunt Gloria about a month ago was difficult yet beautiful. 

Instead of becoming a hermit crab like I normally do, I decided that I really wanted to begin to learn how to deal with loss in a healthier way. I talked to friends, family, my beloved therapist and read up on how I could grieve without letting it consume my mind and life. 

For the first time ever I just allowed myself to feel. Like really feel. I don't know about you guys but most times when I'm going through something difficult or sad I try to diminish what I'm feeling, downplay how much it's impacting me, or try to brush it off. So following day after I got the abrupt phone call, I came home, put my things away and just sat at my dinner table and sobbed for about an hour. Giving myself the space and time to just feel what was going on inside felt so liberating. Then I called my mom to just talk about wonderful memories we had about her. She made some amaze guacamole and was always so positive, and when she laughed her whole body showed it, she was just so wonderful! I ended the evening with sending an email out to whom I considered my closest friends  and reached out for their support, especially knowing that I normally don't deal with these things in a clean cut way, this was really important for me to reach out for support. And 6 out of my 7 friends that I emailed quickly came to my side (technologically speaking). I felt so cared for and supported through this process. 

I know there isn't a magic recipe for dealing with these kinds of things but I'm really happy that I tried this and have continued to implement it when I've dealt with other kinds of loss more recently. That first week was pretty difficult but the more I focused on just allowing myself to feel in order to move forward, I was then actually able to do so. 

Anyway, I hope this is helpful for anyone navigating a similar situation and I would love to hear your advice and stories as well. Lots of love.