Early this Winter I decided to start dating again but this time around I wanted to approach it very differently. Being that none of my relationships in the past have worked out for one reason or another {or because I've dated too many sociopaths}. Then my colleague suggested that I follow Seinfeld's George Castanza philosophy of dating: do everything the opposite of what you have always done. I thought well why not follow this advice, what do I have to lose?
So I've been actually practicing Castanza-ism (lol). First I've tried casually dating. I've never actually ever "casually dated" I still don't know if I know what this means...you know in New York City terms, hehe. Anyway being that I've never have ventured into that world, I go on dates and if there's chemistry, awesome, and if not, oh well. I have been putting a lot less weight on it all and have been having a lot of fun with the guys I've been dating. I was always apprehensive to date "casually" but it actually has been really nice to go into these dates with zero pressure for anything to happen and just enjoy the moment.
Secondly, I have handed over the reigns. I always felt, that I need actively participate in my life and what outcomes I desire. So when it came to dating I always thought "well why wait for a guy to call, when I can do the same." Now I've just allowed things to be. If he wants to initiate conversation great and if not, on to the next.
Lastly, I'm upholding my boundaries. This has always been my biggest struggle when it came to dating and relationships. I have all of these boundaries or rules I try to live my life by and then when I'd get into a serious relationship I became flexible (see: way too flexible) with them. I always felt, well that the person I was dating and I could come to a meeting point. So being firm on my boundaries, saying no, and standing by what guides my heart has been very liberating and actually a lot easier than I thought.
I've been enjoying this new chapter in my life regarding dating and it's helped me to learn more about myself, how, and who I want to dedicate my time to. I've been dating this guy...let's call him "the suburban computer engineer" lol for a while now and it's been lovely. More on that later...
So thank you Deb and George Castanza. ;) P.s. Happy Valentines Day!!
What dating advice do you follow?
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*My Valentines Day date outfit
*This Instagram is hilarious
*Great Valentines gift ideas
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