Living With Anxiety

So I've been thinking about talking about this for a while, especially after having many conversations about mental health issues with family and friends over the last few months and watching Silver Linings Playbook. For many reasons many are uncomfortable discussing mental health issues but I think it's an important conversation to have and continue to have over and over until the country begins to address the importance of mental health.

I realized I had developed anxiety about two summers ago as I finished graduate school and was applying for teaching positions. At the time it really felt like it came out of the blue and like a ton of bricks but in reality it had been slowly developing over the years. My grandmother has always had really bad anxiety so when I thought I knew what it "meant" to be anxious I always thought that I didn't come anything close to it. When in reality I masked my anxiety as being very driven, ambitious, never accepting failure, and having to always feel like I was to be on the go. 

I remember waking up one morning in my dormitory and just sobbing for hours, then having really unrealistic fears about things in my life. I would get so wound up that I'd get headaches, chest pains, or lose a lot of sleep. It worsened when I actually started teaching in the fall. The constant anxious fears of not feeling good enough at my job, having the weight of my student's success on my shoulders, constantly being over analytical about every detail of my day's work, etc. etc. etc. took a big toll on my mental and physical health. 

I remember feeling like I tried, everything - EVERYTHING to get better. From upping my yoga practice, logging in more gym time, going to therapy, etc. yet nothing was curbing my anxiety. It got to the point where I realized enough was enough and I needed to seek professional help. So my counselor and I decided that it would be best to go on anti-anxiety medication for a while. I really think going on medication should be an absolute last option and not the go-to. One of the reasons it took me so long, maybe too long, to accept I needed more help dealing with my anxiety was because I wanted to try and deal with it in a more natural way but after trying many things for months it felt like the best choice at the time. 

Things started to get better after a few months. What was crucial in helping me deal with my disorder was setting up a plan to get more healthy mentally, which at the time consisted of creating work/life boundaries, a consistent schedule of working out, dumping the shitty ex-boyfriend, and practicing breathing exercises.  I also booked a ticket to Rome, Italy for a month to try and get more connected with myself. Towards the end of my first year of teaching I started to ween myself off of my medication and a few days before I left for Italy I stopped taking my medication. It had just seemed crazy to be taking anti-anxiety meds in Italy. How could I be anxious there? Also I never wanted to be on the the medication in the first place. 

Rome sunset, taking via my iphone!

After my solo adventure, I set up a plan with my counselor and continue to practice various techniques to try and deal with my anxiety in the healthiest way possible. At first some days seemed impossible but with persistence and a healthy regimen, dealing with anxiety has become easier everyday. 

Here are some healthy strategies that I use to help cope with my anxiety:

Meditating by the beach

1. Meditation - it helps cure such unhealthy emotional states as well is legitimately effective in treating not just anxiety, mood disorders and depression, but also cancer and other medical conditions. Just a few minutes a day or going to a yoga class can significantly lower stress studies have shown. 

My parents, my #1 supporters! 

2. Get Support - this is so important, when I was really in the throws of my anxiety I shut myself off from my family and friends for a month and half. Not good at all! Reaching out to others for support and advice makes a world of difference. I remember just talking to a grad school friend about how bad my anxiety was getting and how abnormal I felt. She then confided that she too had been dealing with anxiety for years, reassured me that what I was feeling was okay, and gave me suggestions to get help. That conversation really changed my outlook on what I needed to do to get healthier. Thanks G! Also reaching out to family and friends and asking them to check-up on you creates a strong support network and can be a great resource on really bad days.

photo 

3. Sip Tea! - The valerian plant is a hardy perennial whose flowers were once used to make perfume. The root of the plant contains chemicals called valepotriates as well as volatile oils and alkaloids and is widely believed to be a natural sedative. "Tea made from valerian root relaxes the nerves," says Roberta Lee, MD, the vice chair of he Department of Integrative Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center and the author of The SuperStress Solution. "Think of it as a very weak Valium. - Corrie Pikul

Hemingway! 

4. Get a Pet - Studies have shown that the stroking of pet's fur is calming and helps lower blood pressure. I for one love snuggling little Hemingway.

Running in Central Park with a friend

5. Go Running - Most of us think that the famed runner's high comes from endorphins that flood the brain after intense activity, but research has shown that those endorphins are actually too large to pass the blood-brain barrier. Neuroscientists are now claiming that the credit is due to endocannabinoids, smaller molecules made up of lipids that have a similar affect on the body as does the active ingredient in marijuana. Receptors in the brain and the body allow these endocannabinoids to bind to the nervous system, and this sets off reactions that decrease pain and anxiety. - Corrie Pikul

6. Lavender - From ancient times to current studies, the use of this scent has been use to curb anxiety. If you would take a peek into my hygiene products I have lavender scented everything! 

Going for a walk in Central Park

7. Go for a Leisurely Walk -  Scientists from Chiba University have found that compared with city strolls, leisurely walks in nature result in a 12.4 percent decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, a 7 percent decrease in sympathetic nerve activity, a 1.4 percent decrease in blood pressure and a 5.8 percent decrease in heart rate. Those studies have also shown that spending time outside can increase parasympathetic nerve activity by 55 percent , which, the researchers said, is associated with a relaxed state.- Corrie Pikul